From ‘I Have To’ to ‘I Get To’: How to Shift Your Mindset About Retirement

Retirement can feel like a crossroads, especially if it wasn’t entirely your choice. Maybe you spent years imagining this phase of life as a well-deserved break, but now that it’s here, it feels more complicated. The structure of your work life is gone, your role has shifted, and you might feel like you’ve lost more than you’ve gained.

The truth is, retirement — especially when it’s unexpected — often brings mixed emotions. You might feel relief initially, quickly followed by uncertainty, loss, or even fear. And if you find yourself thinking, I have to figure this out, or I have to start over, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the weight of it all.

But what if you could turn that narrative around? What if retirement wasn’t something you “had to” navigate but something you “get to” explore? This mindset shift — from obligation to opportunity — can transform how you approach this next chapter. It’s not about ignoring the challenges or pretending everything is easy. It’s about reframing retirement as a time of freedom, possibility, and choice.

Begin by acknowledging where you are. If you’re struggling with feelings of loss or frustration, give yourself permission to feel them. You’ve spent decades contributing, growing, and achieving. Of course it’s a big adjustment to suddenly step away from that. Recognizing these emotions isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s an essential step in moving forward.

As you navigate this transition, start looking for the opportunities it offers. Retirement doesn’t have to mean “doing nothing.” It’s a blank slate, and you decide how to fill it. Instead of focusing on what you’ve left behind, think about what you’re stepping into. This is your chance to ask yourself questions that might have been buried during the busyness of your career: What do I truly love? What lights me up? What do I want to explore now that I have the time?

One of the most powerful ways to shift your mindset is to focus on choice. While your work life may have been filled with obligations and “have to’s,” retirement is when you get to choose — every day, in ways big and small. You decide how you spend your time, who you spend it with, and what you want to pursue.

This freedom can feel daunting at first, especially if you’re used to a packed schedule or clear goals. But it’s also an invitation to design your life with intention. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try painting or learn a new language. Perhaps you’re drawn to volunteering, traveling, or reconnecting with family and friends. Whatever it is, this is your time to say “yes” to what matters most to you.

Another way to embrace the “I get to” mindset is to see retirement as an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. For years, your career might have defined much of your identity. Now, you have the space to explore who you are beyond your job title. What values guide your decisions? What activities make you lose track of time? What kind of person do you want to be in this next phase of life?

It’s also important to remember that this mindset shift doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and lift you up. Join groups, reconnect with old friends, or find a community of like-minded women navigating their encore years. These connections can remind you of the joy and possibility in this new chapter and help you stay grounded when doubts arise.

As you shift your perspective, give yourself grace. Mindset changes don’t happen overnight, and there will be days when the old “I have to” narrative sneaks back in. That’s okay. Whenever you choose to focus on what you “get to” do instead, you reinforce a sense of empowerment and freedom.

Retirement isn’t the end of your story — it’s the beginning of a new chapter that you get to write. The demands of a career or the expectations of others no longer bind you. This is your time to create a joyful, fulfilling, and uniquely your life.

If you’re ready to embrace this mindset shift and explore the possibilities waiting for you, I’d love to help. Together, we can uncover what excites and inspires you to design a vision for your future that turns “I have to” into “I get to.” This is your moment — step into it with intention and joy. Schedule a free Joyful Encore call and let’s see what’s possible for you.